I did not expect that this year will turn out to be a shaky one for me. The demise of the members of my family came as an unpleasant surprise. Everything happens in a snap of a finger, it never crossed my mind that I will lose my elder brother and mother one after the other within a month. It was a terrifying experience. Exactly a year after I resigned from my work abroad, things came unexpectedly. My Mom's health has deteriorated a lot until she gets totally bed ridden for a couple of months prior to her untimely death. Well, my Mom is already old and I have long prepared myself that one day, I will lose her but I did not expect that this will happen very soon. I managed to stay at home for one whole year with her before she passed away which became a consolation to me. Given a choice, I wish to have spent more time with her. I hardly spent time with her as I was always busy working. Admittedly, we did not have a perfect relationship as we also have our own share of disagreements and misunderstandings, but I couldn't deny the fact that I still love her just the same.
From this bad experience that I had this year, what saddens me me most is the fact that I was not able to make it up with my brother. I hardly seen him for years. Fortunately, I managed to talk to him 2 months before he passed away but this does not satisfy me. I felt that I should have done more to spend more time with him in a more meaningful way and for this, I felt so sorry.
From these experiences, I realized one thing.... time is really gold, and it shouldn't be wasted on harboring ill feelings towards other people, more so if those people are the ones closest to your heart. Admittedly, I was not communicating with my siblings for years due to some personal issues but all what I had inside my heart vanished after this experience. Losing two people who are very dear to me is not a thing to be happy about, but the fact that this has opened new doors for renewed relationships is indeed a reward.
This new beginning has opened my eyes in a number of ways, and I vowed to correct my mistakes and what I have failed to do. God is really good and I thank Him so much for giving me a new life. Now, I have more reasons to smile for ahead me are more meaningful memories that I would cherish for a life time.
"At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable."
Mark V. Olsen and Will Sheffer