Photo credit : http://www.needyhelper.com
Wheww....I feel so guilty for not being able to update this blog. I used to update this regularly but I was in deep thoughts for a couple of weeks now and probably the reason why I tend to lax on things. You might be interested to know what had been going through my mind lately and yes, it is a thing that requires a careful consideration. At first, I'm not feeling comfortable sharing what had been in my thoughts lately but I've finally decided to share it though, hoping that I could found someone who can relate to my situation and give me some personal thoughts and advise.
I am thinking of quitting my job this year. I am being paid well, that's a fact. But lately, I suddenly thought that I am missing a lot of things in life because of working abroad. Seeing my family everyday is one obvious reason of course, but apart from that, I'm yearning to live a normal life where I could do the usual things that a normal woman and Mom could do. It may sound intriguing I know, but believe me...I'm missing those little stuff that I can't do at the moment. I'm working on shifts and this has been going on for years. I don't have a normal sleeping pattern for years now. But that I got accustomed to over the years, not much of a concern.
Whenever I read the blogs of my co bloggers and friends, I can't help but wish that I could do the same things as what they've been doing. Simple stuff like learning and mastering the art of baking, preparing surprise meals for the kids, movie marathon with them, attending Sunday mass, tendering my home garden, attending mall activities and seeing our cute shih-tzu pets with their usual tricks are only some of the simple things that I'd been missing a lot. I also love doing crafts and my son inherited that from me. How I wish we could do it together more often....
There's no doubt that my continuous years of working in the Philippines and abroad had contributed a lot to the family financially, but more than that, it helps me realize my self worth and enabled me to experience self fulfillment having had the privilege to work for a living, live a comfortable life and further my career. It was indeed a blessing and I will continually thank God for that!
But I have reached the point where I suddenly felt the longing to do the things which I enjoyed most. That what I'm doing now suddenly becomes a routine and I just woke up one day not having the zest for work. I suddenly thought that I should probably start doing things that will make me happy. For now, my hands are really full. I'm juggling with my full time job, blogging, looking after my small business and reaching out to my kids. Do I really need to do this? Well, probably not!
I'm now thinking of preparing for my grand exit from the rat race. It's quite a difficult decision though, as it is a good paying job with good set of benefits that others may not be getting from where they are working. But I have to make a choice. My husband and kids had shown their support and are happy with my decision but they told me that in the end, it's my choice and I have to choose what would make me happy as this is more of their concern. If I would enumerate the pros and cons, this would probably be a very long post and you might get bored reading it further. Nothing is final though but for now, I'm more to following my heart desires.