It's parenting time again! Today, I would like to talk about building a foundation for your child. Just a couple of days ago, I was having a casual conversation with a relative as regards to raising kids. He is a little bit troubled about his kid's discipline. He said, as children begin to approach the "teen years", they are starting to develop a habit of mimicking their friends outside the home. I told him that I never had a problem with my children, as far as discipline is concerned...perhaps at this point in time and hopefully until the later years. My secret to this lies on the quality of the foundation I build for them during their "formative years". Foundation is very important, same like building a foundation for the house. It should be strong to withstand the test of times. Now, let me correlate this experience with the 3 basic guidelines which should be the foundation of every parent's philosophy.
1.) Realize that training of the child begins at birth and never stops. D. J. Sala reveals in his book, "Train up your Child"...that the training of a child is an ongoing process involving the emotional,
physical and the spritual. Training involves discipline, guidance and encouragement.
Well...I would say that coaching and guidance should be an ongoing process. It should never stop at any particular point in time but the very core of hard work as far as disciplining is concerned should be focused on their formative years.
2.) The parent is the most important teacher a child will ever have. Your home is your child's first classroom where children were taught the basic principles of life and living. Again, I would stress on teaching by example. Parents are the children "role models". We have to inspire our children by the kind of life that we are having.
3.) Always balance discipline with love. Love without discipline is not love and disciplining without love is just a punishment. I know, as parents, it's kind of hard to say NO to the caprices of our children.
Who wouldn't want them to be happy, in the first place. That is why parents have the tendency to be permissive. We often equate being permissive as a loving gesture to our children. What we failed to realize, though is that, saying "NO" at times, and imposing rules in the house is a total reinforcement of the "teaching process".
From my personal experience, I would say that I always do a lot of compromising with my children. When I disallowed them to do something or to go somewhere, I always explain to them why I'm saying "NO" and explain them the consequences that they have to face just in case they choose to be disobedient. However, I don't always say NO to them. If I find that there is no reason at all to say NO, then by all means I would agree with them and give them my blessings. I even reassure them that they will get rewarded for "keeping their words"....
Happy weekend everyone!